Thursday, November 5, 2009

Testing....1, 2, 3.

I have been pondering the many things in life that seem to be meant to test us. As a good friend jokingly pointed out just yesterday, mothers are one of those things. I am sure my children will feel the same way when they are grown so this washes out in the end. However, for some reason my thoughts were drawn back to the other tests and proverbial "trials" that come our way and how we are expected to grow from them.

This has been an interesting week in our home. We have received flu vaccines and then subsequently discovered those flu vaccines were null and void as the children proceeded to get the flu. May I mention here that I debated for weeks before getting them the shots, finally caved in with the mindset that I was being a responsible and health-minded parent and protecting my asthmatic child from catastrophe......only to have that little sliver of "I did something right"-ness yanked right out from under me? But I digress.....

This week I was given an antibiotic to make me better. However, this said antibiotic is actually making me feel worse than the bacteria for which it was given. The medicine that is supposed to reduce my child's flu symptoms is now upsetting her stomach, and I have to be sure in between breathing treatments to offer her plenty of fluids to keep the world that is her body in balance. One child ran a fever instead of going trick-or-treating; the other will miss a field trip tomorrow. Victor and I had to reschedule our first appointment with the counselor who is going to complete our psych eval for the adoption. (Another topic entirely and I can hear all of the sly comments now, but yes.....we must be evaluated. But now not until next week, which is probably a good thing considering.)

In the big scheme of things, these are minor incidents. In a few weeks, we will look back on this week with a foggy "remember when?" and all will be well. But if you have known me for very long, you will know that the presence of bizarre and complicated medical issues seems to plague us around here. It also feels like all special days have a lovely target painted on them saying "right here...see this??....let's make this not happen, shall we?" Enter my thoughts on the testing issue. Are we to see each event that is difficult, challenging, or just plain un-fun in our lives as a test which God is going to use to help us grow? Or does life we either go with it and do our best or we stop trying and become hopeless? Some days, I have high and lofty answers to these questions. But on other days, like today, I am left to wonder. I am pretty sure that on this particular day I will not receive a high score on the optimism exam. Given a little more sleep, I could probably improve my results. However, I do hope that in those moments--the ones that matter--those which God IS using for my good or simply for His purposes--I will pass the test. I just hope I recognize them.


  1. Ahhh yes the wonderful world of asthma and fluid maintanence...maintanance...uh I can't spell this morning....Been there done that. Praying you get well soon. I distinctly remember 1 week of illness when our whole family all 5 of us, had tummy flu, Christopher's asthma was flaring and we had to literally crawl to the bathroom to toss our cookies and then take care of puking children....and do asthma treatments too....yeah that was fun....NOT...LOL. But now we do laugh. The day before we all got sick we'd been playing in the blow up wading pool with balls and such not water...LOL. So we put blanket and pillows in it for the girls they were little 3 and not yet 1 I think...anyway...they slept in nausea med induced haze there.....Christopher slept on the floor and Mike and I each on a seperate couch. We put a sign on our door WE HAVE THE FLU as we were living in the parsonage. We were associates down in FL. yeah....NOW we laugh.....then NOT so much. WE did get through it. I hope to think we passed the test...LOL. Sometimes I think He uses those times in spite of ourselves and helps us glean lessons from it. Don't necessarily think He does it. But we have frail bodies that have been frail since the fall of man. Thus He meets us at the point of our weakness and shows us Himself. He helps us find joy in the journey....even if after the fact. Optimism..not easy when sick children and asthma treatments plus the demand of life weight heavy. Not to mention, lack of is hard to have a positive outlook when you've not slept in days....hand in there. Know others are praying. I for one.....have walked the sick asthmatic child road plus other kids being sick. is hard to be optimistic when holding a sick child over the porcelain throne while you try not to be sick

  2. Your mom said last night that all is well and everyone is recovered from the flu. I'm so glad to hear it! I pray that you'll get caught up on your rest now!